[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] hm_morris Or of course...

[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] hm_morris Or of course, does it eventually work and I have to just toughen up and it will get better? [/quote] absolutely not, and GOOD ON YOU for not succumbing to the "con" of controlled crying/controlled comforting/crying it out! as micah's mummy and jamesmum have said these barbaric methods are aimed at providing parents with hassle free nights at the expense of babies psychological well being. in addition to what has already been stated, another potentially frightening outcome of leaving babies to cry in this way is the development of "learned helplessness". this is a condition which develops when humans or animals learn that no matter what they do, their behaviour will have no influence on their environment (an example is a battered wife - she complains when first hit, and may fight back, and each subsequent time the fight gets less and less until there is no fight left - just acceptance. learned helplessness is the predominant reason why battered wives often stay in abusive marriages). in leaving babies to cry - they protest for a long period at first, then each subsequent time the protest is less and less until they give up. tizzie hall states "their crying will soon reach its highest peak, but don't give in, you are about to win this battle" this is just prior to baby "giving up". learned helplessness has far reaching consequences for every facet of human relationships. to quote Pinky McKay, "how come assaulting an adult is illegal and yet we can legally abuse babies?" take heart in the fact though that even though you've done CC for the last 3 nights, your baby is still crying out for you...she hasn't given up on you and this demonstrates the very strong bond she has to you. i know just how hard it is for you because i had a baby who slept 12 hours a night from 8 weeks until 7 months. she's now 11 months old and wakes many times per night. in the four months that she's been waking, she has cut 6+ teeth and her molars are making their way through now. she has also learned to sit, crawl, stand, walk and talk and feed herself. add to this a dairy intolerance and you start to get the picture of why she is waking. if i put myself in her place i'd be waking regularly too! i have done a few things to make it through this difficult time; co-sleeping - i can do most of it in a drowsy state and resettle myself quickly, and in addition to this, co-sleeping is the single most effective way to establish trust and security. i've re evaluated my own expectations of how much sleep i really need, and i've surprised myself at just how much better i cope now that i'm grateful for the sleep i DO get rather than resentful of the sleep i DON'T get - i guess its a bit of 'mind over matter' and positive thinking. i spend a lot of time carrying her during the day in an ergo baby carrier. i have two bulging discs in my back and degenerative facet joint disease (i'm old), but as above, positive thinking and mind over matter to get past the pain. i remind myself that no matter how hard it is for me its doubly worse for her. there are many proven gentle techniques that work to get babies to sleep that don't cause psychological distress. as mentioned, "the no-cry sleep solution" is a really good book. i can also recommend Pinky McKay's Sleeping Like a Baby. have a look on Pinky's website - she's fantastic. www.pinkymckay.com.au again, good on you for wanting to try something different.